A Wicked Stepmother Declares War
Where to start…this weekend has been enlightening, upsetting, disheartening and a bit uplifting.
Friday was another mini D-Day for the Lad. I made some calls and did some research and found him a couple fo different resources that would help him with aptitude testing and placement. I was actually very excited about some of the information. It seemed like the perfect solution to the Lad problem – he always says he wants to do something, but he doesn’t know what.
In keeping with my overall plan of the deadline on September 22 and cutting off all of the typical avenue’s the Lad takes (ie complaining to mommy and sissy), I called Mrs. X, the Smile Fuck Queen, to give her the run-down. She actually sounded pretty happy about my ideas. Hubba was equally excited and actually thankful for my work. All and all, I felt positive.
The Lad was busy filling Taco’s during the day, but when he returned at 5:30, hubba grabbed him on the way to the shower, stating he needed to talk to him. I chimed in “I get you next Lad.” Hubba explained he wanted all of us to talk about my info. Lad was aggravated before we started. It went something like this:
”Did you have a chance to call the school this week?” I asked
“No, it is too late to register anyway.” snotty, snotty, snotty
“actually it isn’t, you have three days left, but whatever, you have opted not to go to school and that is cool. Your other option is getting a full-time job.” I kept my voice even.
Bowing up, the Lad began to raise his voice “what are you talking about? Nobody said anything about a full-time job. I don’t…”
“He is getting defensive” hubba chimed in, “Just Listen.”
“Lad, you opted not to register for classes, you can’t work at Taco Bell for the rest of your life, so I just want to talk to you about some resources here.” I explained.
“Well, the college offers an assessment. They have a three-part test, with an interview, once you are done, they will have a list of 10 jobs that might be a good fit for you.” I explained, showing him a hand written note with the details. “There is a fee, but I can’t remember what it is, I do know that I can pay for it so when you call to make an appointment, ask what the fee is and let me know.” I actually know what the fee is, but more about that later.
“I don’t have time to..” he interrupts
“These are just options for you. Whatever you decide to do, it’s up to you. The second resource is one town over. It is all free. They do testing, offer workshops in a bunch of stuff like how to interview, how to do a resume and stuff like that. I spent 30 minutes on the phone with the manager. He is actually looking for someone to work 20 hours a week and man the desk there. It would be perfect – and give you access to a ton of resources, so when you go in, and you should just go in, ask for Joe and give them your name and then…” I am really just reading off the notes I wrote out for him.
“That job is so mine.” Not with your language skills it isn’t
“Well, that may or may not be true, but the important thing is taking advantage of some of these resources.” I explained.
He talked to hubba for a bit longer, then hopped into the shower. This whole exchange was odd to me and I’ll tell you why. Hubba supposedly told the Lad that if he didn’t register for classes or get a full-time job he had to go. My question is this: why the hell was the Lad so surprised?
After the Lad left, I went out and talked to Hubba, asking him very simply, “What was all that crap about not getting a job about?” Hubba didn’t have a great answer for this, but I left it…for the time being.
Shortly afterwards, I received a phone call from Mrs. X, Queen of the Smile Fuck. She informed me that the Lad had called her and actually sounded excited. Then I was treated to the world according to Mrs. X…Apparently I have finally figured out how to talk to the Lad. She did explain to him that if he wants to work at Taco Bell for the rest of his life, that is fine with her, but as a favor to her could he please go do that testing? A favor to WHO? That would be me. She isn’t pushing him to better himself, she isn’t the one trying to develop guidelines for him…that would be MOI.
When I got off the phone, I was steamed, and I threw a temper tantrum, basically yelling about how she isn’t helping. She isn’t pushing him, for every step I try to take with him she effectively cuts off my balls (which I know I don’t have, but you know what I mean). Hubba was really good and listened and together we figured out that Mrs. X, Queen of the Smile Fuck, has been informed by the Girl about our plan for getting the Lad out of here.
Fast forward, Mrs. X, Queen of the Smile Fuck, asked me if we would take A, my hubba’s granddaughter by the girl Sunday afternoon for 3 hours. Mrs. X watches her every weekend and had some plans late on Sunday, but before the Girl got off work. I said sure, of course, we love having her. She is 1 1/2. Anywho, A get’s dropped off, and Hubba, the Little Guy, Me and A play and eat and laugh and stuff. A is a pretty good girl, but not stimulated enough. The kind of kid who thrives with attention and learns quickly – but only if someone is teaching her. At her age, the Little Guy knew all his body parts, his colors, shapes..that kinda thing. Today was the first time I got her to show me a nose. She also had pretty bad diaper rash – not enough to think they are not taking care of her, but enough that it was noticeable and someone should have told us to be hyper vigilant about wetties.
When the Girl finally showed up to pick her up, things got weird, really weird. I pulled her aside to tell her about the diaper rash and tell her that I treated it with specialized talc, that I had extra if she needed it. She pretty much ignored me. First weird.
I got the Little Guy to put on his ball cap (fucking adorable) and told him to go show sissy – she ignored him..literally. Second weird.
The Girl’s hubba, HotStud (that was/is his Yahoo profile ID when he was looking for a girl to cheat on A with three months ago), always interacts with the little guy – always, totally into him. Tonight? Completely ignored him. Third weird.
We all sat down together and I tried talked to HotStud and the Girl. Several times – several different subjects. They literally turned away from me. Fourth weird
When they left, my hubba said he was done. Finished. Fifth weird.
Hubba and I had this crazy conversation, where he proceeded to tell me all this incredible crap about his daughter, his X and his son…and things they have said about us. Basically, the Girl has continued to express her belief that the little guy isn’t really her brother. Apparently she has also recently questioned my parenting abilities. I started potty training at 18 months – early, yes, but he was ready. She believes that I ‘forced’ the Little Guy to use the potty. I’m too rigid – because I won’t give the Little Guy chocolate milk, cookies, Twinkies’ and fast food ( which I actually do, but ‘treats’ are an exception in my house, not the rule). Apparently she is also upset about the way I feed him, which is primarily organic and aimed at giving him balanced meals as much as possible. She even complained that I only keep ‘nasty’ juice in my home – which is funny because I spend a lot of money on 100%, all natural, organic apple and orange juice for him. No preservatives, no added sugar – it has an expiration date. I guess the Girl is upset because A won’t drink anything that isn’t loaded with sugar. Funny thing is, that little girl has always eaten like a champ here. I’m a horrible step-grandma because I serve fruit of some sort to the kids with every meal and A doesn’t like it – again funny because yesterday she ate 1/2 cup of cut up melon.
The long and the short of it is that The Girl and HotStud have chosen not to have a relationship with us. Hubba doesn’t want them here anymore. I think that he could ‘handle’ them not being respectful to me or him, but he refuses to allow them to ignore the Little Guy. This whole thing is sad because not only are we effectively cutting the Girl out of the Little Guy’s life (hubba states he will no longer talk to the Girl about her brother at all), we are cutting them, including A out of our lives. That little girl didn’t do anything wrong and we won’t have her here anymore.
Hubba is of the belief, and I agree, that the kids have been subjected to a steady diet of lies and manipulations from the Queen of the Smile Fuck. He believes that the kids will ‘figure it out’ eventually, but honestly? I have reached the point where I don’t need them in my life. Attempting to build relationships with them has done nothing but set me up for tears and failure and I have better things to do with my time and energy.
At the end of the day, this weekend was a revelation of some sorts. Hubba does see the same behaviors and attitudes that I see. He isn’t ignoring them. He is slowly reaching the point of no return with his kids. He told me last night that the kids have noticed how different he has been since he met me and said the following:
Of course I’m different, I was miserable for years. I spent my time waiting for something to happen and living for my kids. I wasn’t myself, lost track of myself. I was lonely, suicidal and unhappy. I’d sometimes have a happy moment or a happy day, but I was unhappy. I met you and that changed. I’m no longer just waiting for retirement and the end. I am interested in living again and in life. For the first time ever, I feel like myself. If my kids are upset or hurt or jealous of any of this, I don’t know what to tell them. I deserve to be happy too.”
Anyway, really long post boils down to just a couple of key points: the kids don’t like me, they are angry at their dad because of me, they don’t believe that the Little Guy is their brother, Mrs. X, Queen of the Smile Fuck is sharpening her blades, and hubba and I are OK with all of this ending.
I don’t have to try to be a stepparent anymore. They neither want nor need one. My sole job at this point is taking care of my family and getting the Lad out of my home…and yes, now it is time for him to go, now I declare war. My line in the sand was drawn a long time ago. It is time that I start living up to it.
I See Their True Colors,
The Wicked Stepmother